How do you do your face when you’re hungover?

• Category:
• Genius & Trickery

Is it the same as when you are not hungover? Yes? Great! And by great I mean WRONG. Provided you are over the age of about 21, you just can not use the same skin care and makeup the morning after drinking 14 million red wines. It will not work. You need special assistance. Special products. Allow me to list some of them for you.

Disclaimer: The fact that I have chosen to write this on a Sunday after a Saturday night spent consuming enough alcohol to power a small jet does not mean that I am hung over, or that I came home without the jacket I left the house wearing earlier in the evening (bad), but with an interesting, gooey substance masquerading in my head as ‘a brain’ (worse) and a salt grinder and two fresh limes (tasty).

SO. Here’s what you do when you finally wake up and realise it’s so late in the day that you’ve missed the breakfast boat and now have to meet your girlfriend for lunch but all you really want is a coffee and several hundred Nurofen. I apologise to those who have oily skin - these tips may not suit you because they are deliberately intended to create sheen, and if you have oily skin, this is the very thing you avoid. But! Remember: Even oily skin can be very dehydrated.

Drink three large glasses of water. Powerade too, if available. If not, make it available.

Shower. (Try to stand up during this if possible.)

Use a scrub/exfoliator on face so that all face creams have a better chance of penetrating skin.
Try: L’Oreal Paris Derma Genesis Cellular-Cleansing Exfoliating Foaming Cream.

Use eye makeup remover on kohl remnants. Quite extensively.
Try: Almay Oil Free Eye Makeup Remover Pads, $20.95.

Apply eye drops to clear up redness.

Apply a hydrating serum if possible, or massage in some rosehip oil.
Try: Kosmea Organic Rose Hip Oil, $22.95.

Apply a VERY luxurious, thick face cream. Your usual face cream will not cut it today because your skin is going to be so dry. This is because selfish organs like the brain and liver are using up all the available water in your system after you decimated your hydration levels with all those margaritas.
Try: Ella Bache Creme Intex, $50, or Decleor Paris Aromessence Essential Balm, $80. These are both lovely and thick (the Decleor is a face oil/balm) and will give the face a slight sheen/healthy glow.

Apply twice the usual amount of eye cream.

Apply primer. This is crucial because your skin will be so thirsty it will eat all your makeup no matter how much you apply. Primer is your best chance of keeping it in place.
Try: Napoleon Autopilot Pre-Foundation Skin Primer, $49.50.

Apply your foundation. Please do not use powder or matte foundations if possible, mineral notwithstanding. The idea is to reflect light, to make your face glow. A powder finish does not do this. Makes skin look even more dry. Brings out fine lines. Bad. Use blotting paper if you’re worried about shine.
Try: Max Factor Age Renew Foundation, $34.95, Invisible Zinc Tinted Daywear SPF 30+, $32, Bobbi Brown Moisture Rich Foundation SPF 15, $75 - and don’t be afraid to mix in some liquid illuminator, like Clinique City Block with shimmer, or Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector, $66.

Use creme/gel bronzer. MAN, will this make a difference - your eyes will look brighter, your teeth whiter, your face warmer, less dead-like. Apply along cheekbones and up around and along your hairline above the forehead. Don’t be afraid to use more than you normally would.
Try: Giorgio Armani Bronze Mania Skin Tint, $75, NP Set Liquid Veil in Buenos Aires, $30.

Use creme/gel/tint blush in a bright shade. This will ‘lift’ your face. Give you some health. Apply to the apples of your cheeks rather than along the cheekbones for a fresher look.
Try: Benefit Posie Tint, $53, Kit Cosmetics Duo Cheek & Lip Creme in Pretty Cheeky, $37.95.

White liner on the inner rim of eyes. A little black liner on the outer corners of the top lash line. Curl lashes. Lots of mascara. If you must wear eye shadow, go for something like a tiny bit of sheer, shimmery light blue or pink creme shadow just over the eyeball, which will give eyes a fresh, open look. Well, attempt to, anyway.

Drink some more water.

Stick to lovely juicy nude gloss OR even better go for a punchy lipstick, which will devilishly draw attention away from those bleary peepers down to your mouth.
Try: Revlon Matte Lipstick in Pink About It, $21.95, Laura Mercier tangerine lipstick, $42, or that Kit lip/cheek duo from up a few sentences.

Apply some lovely perfume so you at least smell good even if you still - despite all of the incredible trickery just detailed - look like shit.

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