Haay-yo-haaaay, it’s Tyra y’all!

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• If Celebrities Ruled the Earth

Well how you all DOIN? It’s been a loooong time since we spoke girl, but let me tell you, it’s not cause I hate you, you KNOW I rate you, but lil T-Bank, lil Take-it-to-the-Bank has been so damn busy I almost forgot to watch Ellen and Oprah so that I could make sure I was better than them! But I’m back. And my hair is AMAZULAR. Check it, love it, want it, do it.

Now last time you saw me I was all Textbook Tyra, with my hair all straight and centre-parted and FIERCE on a bed of fierce with a deconstructed fierce jus on top. I was pretty-pretty and I was surprised-pretty and I was robot-pretty, but mostly, mostly I was just Tyra, and we all know that’s what counts, that’s what really counts, and that’s what I tell my Next Top Models, I say, honey, you could be on a red carpet in Hollywood, or you could be at your local laundromat, but it’s YOU in both places, and baby, that’s what’s so magic, because YOU get to take YOU with you everywhere, so make it count, and really love you, and own you and then I came up with this word, YOUNIFY, because you gotta merge all your hot and all your pretty and all your fierce into one beautiful thing, and then keep it like an invisible earring on your person at all times. YOUNIFY! Younify.

Anyway I stepped out this week, which you know I don’t often do, but I thought the red carpet needed a little fire, you know what I’m saying? YEW! Alright! And so I did myself up and I went to the CW “It’s A Reality” event in NYC, and giiiiiiirls, let me tell you, I worked it like a crane on a buildin’ site, I worked it like a honeybee, I worked it like a factory worker on meth.

Do you like my pretty slicked-low-do? You do? It’s real fly, isn’t it. It’s chic fierce. It’s chic-pretty. It’s FAAAAHYNE. And it didn’t take long at all! In fact, and I got no patience for long preparation these days, I got no patience for some fool fussin’ over me for 67 hours while I try and do my work or practice my angry-pretty eyes, but this one was real fast. Just water and that real little comb those hair people use, and some straightening balm all mixed in with gel and it was parted and ZAP! Like that, it was down, and then it was pinned, and then it was all, ‘Oh Tyyyyyra, you look so prettttty, oh Tyra, you look so claaaaasssy,’ and I’m all like, GIRLFRIEND! Don’t you think I know this?!!!!

What about my on-trend natural, nude, taupey toned makeup? Girl I KNEW YOU WOULD!! Because it’s the BOMB!!! It just exploded with pretty all up in your face, only I was the one who got all the makeup! I love the lined and shimmered eye with that nude ol’ lip. It’s all balanced, just like the power isn’t when my girls stand before me on elimination day.

Damn. I love this look.... And I mean the LOOK, I mean everything. I mean the slicked down hair with the itty-bitty tight bun at the nape of my neck, I mean the subtle makeup, I mean the statement earrings, I mean the low neckline showin’ off that kerCHING chest that earned me so much candy when I was a Sports Illustrated covermodel, I mean the pantsuit, I mean the p-a-c-k-a-g-e, girl! This is the TTP. The ToTal Package.

I am FIERCE and I am HOT and I am YOUNIFIED.

Do the same and see what happens. You never know, you might just blossom from a little unfierce grub into a beautiful, colourful, pretty FIERCE butterfly, and we know they’re what you want to be, because they have the word FLY in their name. Mmm-hmm.

OWN it.
SASSSSSSS it.
YOUNIFY.

T-Bank xxxx

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