“Chow”

I’m still in Tuscany, and have landed in Siena, which is lovely, but after five days in San Gimignano, a glorious medieval town up on a hill (half an hour from Siena), frothing with exceptional produce and jovial providores and breathtaking views of lush green vineyards and grand palazzos and rolling hills, not to mention my new favourite wine – Vernaccia di San Gimignano – which I clearly did just mention because it deserves to be mentioned.... more

Or is that part 368? Who can say. What I can say is that I have certainly put a long tail on this ‘let’s pretend it’s interesting to the General Public for me to write about what I put in my suitcase,’ palaver. Honestly. Next I’ll just be uploading photos of my passport on a bench and asking you to name what time of the day you think it is judging by the way the sunlight’s hitting it. ("Jesus, Fosters! You’ve hit gold! Don’t use that idea as a joke blog post, it’s flipping brilliant!")... more

The other day, I wrote what critics are calling, “A typically concise and briefly edited post,” and, “no frills, deadly serious, information-only, padding-free take” and, “this year’s Two and a Half Men,” on what skin care I packed with me on my two-month trip overseas, so that you might learn from the many errors I made. Now we move onto makeup. Or do we...? Yep. We definitely do. Sorry for any confusion.... more

A few of you have enquired as to what cosmetic loot a beauty editor might pack when she sets off on a two-month adventure, most likely thinking that they may learn something that will be helpful should they be setting off on a long trip sometime soon. Well, let me tell you right now, they will definitely learn something! You bet they will! And if that something is that, “Zoe is hor*eshit at packing,” it doesn’t even matter, because learning doesn’t discriminate.... more

And I say that with love. (Tough love, like the kind where your mum won’t let you eat a Nutella sandwhich at 6.02 pm when you’re in year 3, because she knows the veges and chicken coming at 7.21pm will bring your little body more benefits.) Italian men are just so stinkin’ stylish and so masterfully groomed that it makes our boys look like slobs. And it must end! It must end.
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Last week I was all like, ‘My beauty routine is falling apart but I don’t care so much because I am overseas’ but that was utterly premature. Because suddenly it’s 33 degrees (after 15 degrees in Scotland) and I am surrounded by stylish, sparkly Milan people who wear slinky backless jumpsuits with wedges to shop in Prada and Balenciaga and sometimes Zara if they’re feeling common, and have ‘done’ hair, skin and nails and as I walk amongst them in my sandals and cut offs and tees and top knots and no make up, I feel like grabbing them and shaking them and saying, ‘SCUZI. In REAL LIFE I am actually VERY WELL GROOMED, you know.’... more

I’ve reached the end of my (mini) Maintenance Cycle. Already. And I’ve only been away for two weeks. Not even two weeks. I honestly thought I could last a little longer this time. Rough it a little. Let things get wild and loose. HA! Ha I say to that, in caps lock so you know it is a joke. ... more

She’s giving great hair and nail polish, Miss MEGAN FOX, as she slinks down the red carpet at the premiere of a movie called Jonah Hex, which I believe is about the great troubles (paparazzi, drug addiction, rehab) Jonah faced after being swallowed by that great stonkin’ whale. Or a DC comic hero, can’t remember. But she’s not giving great lips.... more

While Yaz and Chez are doing wonderful things edumacating you all during Glorious Skin Month, I thought I would take my Twuestion moment to loudly jump onto the bandwagon (while it is moving, and probably from a bridge, BRUCE WILLIS style) and offer a little skin care advice, too. Or more accurately, eye care advice. ... more