Celebrity Smile Secrets. That Even Celebs Need to Know
Tue, 15 January 2013 3:31PM
As Jodie Foster evidently thinks*, who’d be a celebrity? Seriously.
Sure, there are the millions of dollars to be made and beauty contracts to be scored. But there are also the trash mags and their faux headlines, and the paparazzi chasing you around when all you want to do is walk to the corner shop in your tracky-dacks and stock up on Big M and Cheezels.
Before you know it, you’re on the cover of some mag’s ‘Stars Without Makeup’ special, and girls the internet over are zooming in on your every little pore.
Ummm … Those girls include myself.
See, my job sees me staring rather too closely at celebrities’ facial features for much of the day. Every morning – and then countless other times throughout the day – Hayley and I have to delve into Getty Images, and check out who’s wearing what when it comes to eyeshadow, lipstick, blush, mousse, tan and more. And when you’re scrutinising larger-than-life (literally) faces in such a way, you can’t help but get a little picky.
Of course, we try our darnedest not to be snarky here at yours truly. For instance, we leave crow’s feet alone. Cosmetic surgery is fine if it’s right for you. But wrinkles are like death and taxes – a fact of life – and that’s why they should be whole-heartedly embraced. As should be god-given quirks like gappy teeth or statement noses.
What we do get a bit picky about, however, are bad makeup choices (if anyone popped onto our screens in orange eyeshadow, we’d probably work ourselves up into a frenzy) and those beauty faux-pas that can be easily remedied. Perhaps it’s a fine line at times, but there still needs to be one.
Take, for instance, teeth. Aforementioned gaps? Sweet, and so very Kate Moss. Yellow tones. Not so cute.
Lately I haven’t been able to help but notice how yellow many stars’ teeth seem to be. Especially the teeth that are farther back in the mouth. See …
I could have teethorexia (my husband is convinced that my job has blown my perceptions of beauty out of whack a little; I only admit to a mild case of knee dysmorphia) but the thing is, teeth is one facial feature I’m quite finicky about. Six years in braces will do that to a girl, I guess. Slightly OCD about my smile, I’m forever grinning at myself in the mirror to check on its colour status. The tiniest hint of a stain, and out go the tea and red wine for a while. And out comes the tooth-whitening kit.
You see, it’s so easy to keep teeth white and bright. Limit dark drinks, for one. And order a custom-fit whitening kit. My dentist made one for me years ago. It was by Colgate Professional and cost a hefty $400, but I’ve more than got my money’s worth, as I’ve been able to re-use the mould many times since that initial four-week course (like in the lead-up to my wedding), and keep my teeth from straying too far into yellowland.
I’ve also found that such a kit makes it a cinch to manage specific problem teeth, such as those sneaky canine numbers that are thicker and as such tend to be a little darker in colour. You simply dab the whitening solution in this part of the mould only.
Sure, you don’t want a blindingly white smile. A little warmth in teeth actually looks more real. Try this rule of thumb: you want to approximately match the white of your teeth with that of your eyes.
Hmmm, although if your eyes are also a little yellow from a tad too much of that common culprit, red wine, well that rule might not work so well. In which case, it might be just be time for that new year’s detox resolution to get underway, don’t you think?
* Did you watch Jodie’s Golden Globes speech? If not, google it at once. It was a marvel. It had everything. She was funny, angry, sweet, crazy and poetic all at once. She had the room in tears when she spoke about her mother, who has dementia. And the big news, of course, was that she came out. Sort of. At least, that’s what everyone thinks. You see, Jodie, who is now 50 but became a star at the age of three, is an old-style celebrity. She doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve so she’s hard to read. As she justified it this way: “If you had been a public figure from the time that you were a toddler, if you’d had to fight for a life that felt real and honest and normal against all odds, then maybe you too might value privacy above all else.” It made me cry and feel a little bit bad that I’ve ever peered a little too closely at her teeth.